This Can Only Go Horribly Wrong

So a few of my friends & I are planing a summer camping trip up in New Hampshire in August.
After searching around and realizing that most camping facility owners are Luddites, my friend suggested this place...

- http://www.maplehavenresort.com/

Sure! Why not.
They have very cute ICONS, and they have CATERING. Now we’re talkin’….!!
It looks quite fine...who knows? Like - it's summer camping. It is nothing more than a setting for a bloody B-movie horror-type massacre anyway. "Oooo! what's that noise? Let me go check it out alone with no flashlight. You wait right here, darling, scantily clad in your see-through camisole. I'll be right back, perhaps with a shishkabob skewer shoved through my eye."

BTW … the world has completely changed for me when a camping place has video & DVD rentals.
People are wussies.

Oh, and the big cabins at this place are nicer than my freakin’ condo.

Looks fine to me …it’s camping.
(Ominous music, please) How bad can it be?


“Maple Haven” … Sounds like a sanitarium.
“Yep… after we lost our cockatoo, “Feathers” in that nasty wood chipper incident, the wife was never the same … spent the rest of her years up at Maple Haven, poor thing.”